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My Therapist Is Making Me Nuts!

A Guide to Avoiding Life's Obstacles

by Mark Hillman, Ph.D.

My Therapist Is Making Me Nuts! by Mark Hillman, Ph.D.

 

Points to Ponder

Archive of the monthly newsletters for the year 2006

Welcome to the online version of "Points to Ponder", a monthly newsletter from Mark Hillman which is also available free by email.                               

If you or any of your colleagues want to subscribe, please click on the button below.

Every edition since its inception is included here and in the archive. You can read each one by either scrolling down the page or by clicking on the monthly links below.  

January 2006


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – Buddha

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Emerson

“To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!” – Emerson

“Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity…” – Gilda Radner

“May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart!” – Eskimo proverb

 

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February 2006


Three Things in Life

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:  Time, Words & Opportunity.

Three things in life that may never be lost:  Peace, Hope & Honesty.

Three things in life that are most valuable:  Love, Self-confidence & Friends.

Three things in life that are never certain:  Dreams, Success & Fortune

Three things that make a person:  Hard work, Sincerity & Commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a person:  Wine, Pride & Anger

The only limits to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

 

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March 2006


The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

Nothing is impossible to a willing heart.

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

If you want truly to understand something, try to change it.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

Trust yourself. You know more than you think.

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision. You can't blow an uncertain trumpet.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Your legacy should be that you made it better than it was when you got it.

I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Be not merely good; be good for something.

It is better to ask some of the questions than to know all the answers.

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April 2006


You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.

Wherever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.

If you don't sell, it's not the product that's wrong, it's you.

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

You can't climb the ladder to success with your hands in your pockets.

The best way to forget your own problems is to help someone else solve theirs.

There is no such thing as a non-working mother.

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.

You can't base your life on other people's expectations.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.

You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.

I tell you and you forget. I show you and you remember. I involve you and you understand.

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 May 2006


Choice, not chance, determines one's destiny.

Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.

He who limps is still walking.

Whatever you are, be a good one.

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit.

Patriotism is easy to understand in America; it means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

'Silent' and 'listen' are spelled with the same letters.

 

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June 2006


You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.

A ship in a safe harbor is safe, but that is not what a ship is built for.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

You can make more friends in a month by being interested in them than in ten years by trying to get them interested in you.

The manner in which it is given is worth more than the gift.

Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes softly and sits on your shoulder.

Use your past as a springboard, not as a sofa.

If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep.

The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

The best vitamin for making friends . B1.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

 

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July 2006


A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.

Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.

Trust in your own untried capacity.

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned to cook.

Before you build a better mousetrap, it helps to know if there are any mice out there.

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.

Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your children.

Life itself is the proper binge.

The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.

Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.

Nothing in life just happens. You have to have the stamina to meet the obstacles and overcome them.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.

Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.

Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.

 

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August 2006


"If you lead through fear you will have little to respect; but if you lead through respect you will have little to fear."

"An executive is a person who decides; sometimes they decide right, but always they decide."

"Business without profit is not business any more than a pickle is candy."

"The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules."

The person who knows 'how' will always have a job. The person who knows 'why' will always be his boss."

"Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner.
Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory."

"Clothes and manners do not make the man; but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance."

"You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are."

A good leader inspires others with confidence in him; a great leader inspires them with confidence in themselves.

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

I am always doing that which I cannot do in order to learn how to do it.

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September 2006


Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body . the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 a.m., and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love. I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten . and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, I like being old. It has set me free.
I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

Author unknown!

 

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October 2006


What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

A good sense of humor is essential to deal with the world's reality.

Some succeed because they are destined to, but most succeed because they are determined to.

Whenever ideas are shared, the result is always greater than the sum of the parts.

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.

Character is not made in a crisis - it is only exhibited.

Committee - a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

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November 2006


HAPPY THANKSGIVING

LEADERSHIP

Trying to lead men from behind makes you a driver and not a leader.

Don't confuse leadership with a popularity contest.

Corporate politics can be a bloody business indeed.

In any competitive enterprise, action is preferable to inaction.

Opportunities are easily lost waiting for "perfect" conditions.

An effective leader continually assesses risks vs. rewards.

If you want progress, you must rule out all the excuses that impede progress.

You are not beaten until you admit it. Hence DON'T.

Surround yourself with people whose knowledge and judgment you trust, then make good use of them.

No one is thinking if everyone is thinking alike.

Never close yourself to suggestion and insight from others, including the most junior members of the team.

Formulating a single plan and sticking to it, no matter what, is one-dimensional thinking. To survive and succeed in this multidimensional world, you need more than one plan.

Do not become so narrowly focused on a stated objective that you pass up opportunities encountered along the way.

The effective manager misses no opportunity and is never too narrowly focused to be thorough.

Dominate, but never domineer. Managers should lead their people not rule them.

 

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December 2006


Happy Holidays – Happy New Year!

One thing you can give and still keep .... is your word.

One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.

The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

I don't tend to think about things I don't think about.

Those on top of the mountain didn't fall there.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.

Those who have hope have everything.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

 

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